Imagine this: a cherished ceramic vase, shattered into a hundred pieces. Grief hangs heavy in the air, mirroring jagged shards scattered across the floor. However, instead of discarding the wreckage, you choose Kintsugi – the Japanese art of mending broken pottery with gold. Using careful hands and a patient heart, you join the pieces, each gilded seam tracing the story of the vase’s fall and rebirth.
I mentioned the art form in last week’s blog. Kintsugi, meaning “golden joinery,” is more than just a repair technique; it’s a philosophy. It celebrates the idea that brokenness is not an ending, but rather a new beginning, infused with unity and strength. In the same vein that I wrote about last week, what if we applied this philosophy to our own lives, especially when they feel tragically broken and faith seems like a distant dream? Especially when we believe our brokenness defines us.
How do we apply kintsugi in our own lives? The first step is to stop pretending the cracks don’t exist. Ignoring them only prolongs the suffering. Let the tears flow, let the anger roar until it dissipates. Then, with courage, reach into the depths of your pain, your vulnerabilities, your struggles. Only then, through this act of bravery of facing what hurts the most, can the healing begin.
The next phase of the process is to embrace the imperfections. I get tripped up in the fact that our society often glorifies the “perfect,” airbrushed version of life. But Kintsugi reminds us that beauty lies in the authentic, in the unique imperfections that make us who we are. Embrace your scars, your stumbles, your quirks. They are the gold that makes your story shine.
From that vantage point, it’s easier to lift your head high and seek out the light. Do you not see it? I remember over 39 years ago, I could not see beyond the darkness, and the world around me seemed equally eclipsed. As fate would have it, my journey of crafting my own kintsugi began when I panned in the rubbish. It wasn’t the fear of judgmental stares that fueled my courage, but rather a community of open hearts, unjudging ears and warm embraces. People who saw my worth, not my cracks. Slowly, like moss finding purchase on a weathered rock, self-compassion aided me to recognize the shimmering parts of my life’s inventory, like gold dust on the wind. Accepting my fractures became the catalyst for healing. I gained a new set of eyes to see myself not as a broken vase, discarded and forgotten, but a work of art in progress.
My kintsugi journey is far from over, and, I’m guessing, neither is yours. As the new year unfolds, let us walk this path together and continue to share stories, tips and resources. Let’s kintsugi together, one shimmering piece at a time.
WTF? (Where's the faith?) 
Stacy, I sat down to rest, after little sleep and knowing I’d be inspired here. And there you were. The first person to “pull up”. Every time I read your stunning and incredibly wise and eloquent words, I get tears. And whiplash from nodding!
YOU are a beautiful soul~in and out. Through panning through your rubbish to every line I could quote in this story~embracing imperfection (my motto) to bring out fractures into full light as they’re molded into something beautiful and powerful.
Yes, I will journey through this process with you. You inspire me in every way. Thank you for being who you are and sharing your story, and most authentic part of your being, with us to help us in our lives of brokenness, cracks, losses, love, joy, faith, and all things life holds. I’m sharing this with a friend who lost her son last year. I’ve told her about you and what you mean to me. I know that I can speak for all of that know you~you are a wonderful blessing in our lives. Much love and prayers, always. ♥️🙏🏻💛☀️
Oh, Karla, your words have always been a source of strength and solace for me, and I’m so grateful to have your friendship in my life. The “gold” you’ve given me – that unwavering support and wisdom – has helped me mend so many broken pieces. (I am now the one in tears!) Thank you, too, for sharing my blog post with your friend. I am honored to be part of this faith walk with you!
It touches my heart deeply, Stacy. I know she will appreciate your journey, wisdom, and beautiful words. Truly, my honor.
To be considered a source of strength is humbling! That’s how I feel of you!
I’m so thankful and grateful for you. Much love and prayers always, my friend. 💕♥️🙏🏻
🤍🤍
a wonderful wise post; I love the concept and the art form of kintsugi; it is new to me; thanks for bringing it to our attention —
Hi John! The world of kintsugi has only recently come to my attention, and I’m captivated.
I’ll be looking forward to more posts on it —
there’s an increased attention on the kyoto school, again Stacy~ alongside the search for a middle-way between the annihilatists and eel wrigglers, and as the boddisattva practice, elsewhere and with different words a golden heart ~ I do like kitaro nishado although his thinking is somewhat, or seemingly so, different to both kintsugi and the boddisattva
and, as is, IS, often the case there’s much more going on than meets the eye, and, of course you write and invite this too; let not the strangeness of word and thought-forms hinder for, and as the hoopoe suggests, a freedom in loving-kindness that is truly heart-given exists not in thoughts of ‘me’ or ‘I’
big hugs, Stacy 💙
Everytime I think of you, Alec, you appear! So good to hear your words of “gold” again! Big hugs too you too!
ah! so that’s where I’ve been … lol lol lol
I love that you wrote a more in-depth description of the amazing art of Kintsugi. This is such a wonderful way to write about healing – finding beauty in the brokenness. You’ve come so far Stacy and you are helping others on their grief journey. You are as exquisite as any Kintsugi vase!
Stacy , We are conditioned to read good practical philosophy from you & you fulfill it! We believe in Hinduism that, the law of compensation or grace work with law of karma like two wings of a bird. You have to learn your lesson from anything ” broken in your life” and do your best with your free will with discretion Our loss has made our life rich & meaningful. I do bereavement counselling for parents with death by suicide of the children You do it by your powerful writing for humanity
I’m so honored to have met you, Preema! Your compassion and wisdom always inspires me.🤍🤍
Life is a matter of constant recalibrations. Of blancings, of this replaces that, as time and living life exact a toll. But it’s all good, we find more balance in new ways. Wonderful post.