Birthday Wishes Across the Stars: For Brother Mike

Mike, circa 1974

Not much different from today, the 70s boomed with a culture of body shaming, fueled by a relentless push to sell magic formulas for a beauty standard that was as warped as the false eyelashes and diet pills I clung to. The “miracle pills” whittled me down to a frail 102 pounds, a desperate attempt to mold myself into something peer-approved pretty.

You, on the other hand, Mike, were the pragmatist. Your words were few, but each one landed with the weight of your well-worn cowboy boots sinking into the good earth. I can still picture the glint in your eyes, even then, as a young man, when you asked me as I batted my extended lashes, “What ever happened to natural?”

Natural? The concept flew over my bleached-blonde hair.

Turns out, dear bro (and maybe you knew this all along), I wasn’t the sharpest tool in the shed. It took me five whole decades to finally grasp the meaning of “natural.” It wasn’t just about rejecting the miracle products and noise from greedy marketers, but also the well-meaning (but often misguided) voices of family and friends anchored by their faith (or traditions), trying to mold me into their own images.

Finally following your lead, I, at last, retreated inwards, finding solace in the quiet and contentment in the slow burn of a candle. This newfound space helped free me from external manipulation, my decisions stemmed from the deepest well of my being – my soul, (sadly, a missed opportunity for my son). In this way, a new understanding of myself blossomed within me, carried on the wings of redemption, faith, and the quiet hum of grief. It was a womb-like homecoming – a return to the essence of who I was always meant to be. Like the tulips, daffodils, and hyacinth that pushed through the warmed earth, bold and bright as jewels. In the process, I embraced myself. Judgment and distortions disappeared. A sense of liberation bloomed – a feeling as light and airy as the warm breeze that chased away the last of winter’s chill.

This personal freedom extended to giving others space. I let go of my ego. Of “fixing” prayers and forced agendas. Life, I found, often worked in mysterious ways, guided by a hand far more divine than mine and impossible to understand fully.

So, dear brother, thank you for planting the seed of the concept of natural in my heart. These last two years, in particular, are showing me that the overdue path for my true self is now under construction. Looking back, I see the past woven intricately together, not by chance, but by a divine hand that holds mine with compassion.

Specifically, since January 2023, I have lost over 35 pounds, all on my own without any drugs or shaming or a doctor’s fearful words. Out of the blue, I “happened” to have fallen upon the program NOOM (disclaimer: I’m not affiliated with them), and it has changed my life.

It wasn’t about quick fixes – NOOM focuses on behavior change and mental well-being, which resonates with me. NOOM’s app uses science and personalization to track food and lifestyle choices, promoting healthy weight loss and long-term habits, which I’ve incorporated into my life.

Sharing my initial progress with only one person backfired when they dismissed my one-pound weight loss after a month on NOOM. But I tuned out the negativity and continued to focus on myself. Every pound since then feels like a major victory on this amazing journey. Ultimately, losing weight isn’t just about the numbers on the scale. It is part of my powerful journey of self-discovery, because, as I already mentioned, I alone have claimed what was so loving and freely given to me all along: my authentic self. (While it looks like the naysayer is headed for a knee replacement, I am not, at least not at the moment!)

Just as amazing, too, and completely by happenstance, today also marks my one-year anniversary of becoming a pescetarian! There was no pressure, no specific date in mind – it just happened. (Plus, this time, I kept my secret to myself, secured in my judgment-free zone!) And that’s when I realized the most profound aspect of this journey: sometimes, the most meaningful changes come about organically, like a nudge from a higher power that reigns over all the super human powers.

My inspiration for this eating shift had been brewing for a long time, fueled in part by your gentle spirit and by my amazing daughter, Alexandra. She’s been a vegetarian since she was just eight years old, and at 29, she’s still a passionate advocate for animal welfare. Witnessing her compassion has brought the joy of spring to me every season, her dedication is always rubbing off on me. Then there’s my niece who’s poured her heart into working at an animal sanctuary early every Sunday morning for over a year now.

From the start, I felt a deep conviction about my dietary path. Then, just a few weeks in, a fantastic article in the New York Times, Peter Singer: Fix Your Diet, Save the Planet, practically fell into my lap, seemingly confirming my intuition. Since I gave up eating animals, even on days when the world feels like a relentless battle, I go to bed knowing I’ve made a positive impact, however small.

So, big brother, you were right – “natural” truly is beautiful. Maybe that’s why I find such joy in aligning myself with the universe’s flow, dancing with it rather than resisting, keeping my world free from the super human powers that get in the way and cause an accident.

Today, on what would have been your 78th birthday, I celebrate not only your life, but also the newfound vibrancy in mine. Who knows, maybe next year on your birthday, I’ll discover another divinely inspired way to move through the world that can sometimes feel so serious, a joyful expression in your memory.

But for now, I raise a glass (sparkling water, please!) to you, brother, to my incredible daughter and niece, and to the life I’m so grateful to share with them and all of you. Let’s weave faith into the unexpected twists and turns of life, and see what beautiful and unique tapestry emerges. Regarding that natural process, I’m profoundly grateful.  Now, I can simply rest and watch the masterpiece unfold.

Happy Birthday, bro!

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Faith Muscle

12 thoughts on “Birthday Wishes Across the Stars: For Brother Mike

  1. A lovely tribute to your brother, Stacy. It’s interesting to hear from you how marketing and diet fads and societal pressures are cyclical. And these days, social media adds even more pressures.

    Glad you found the path to the natural approach!

  2. Oh, Stacey, I love this picture of your brother. His eyes radiate such warmth and kindness. I appreciate your sharing about your weight loss journey. It is tremendous!! I am proud of you and I’m sure it feels so much better to shed that weight. I continue to struggle with mine. I did like Noom, but unfortunately I ran out of patience. I think it might consider going back to it. Thank you so much for inspiring hope within me. I love the “natural” approach – that is truly such a beautiful way to live!

  3. What an inspiration post. I so relate to your statement, “Finally following your lead, I, at last, retreated inwards, finding solace in the quiet and contentment in the slow burn of a candle.” Solitude is sacred. You are a wise woman.

    • Thank you, Cindy! Yes! Solitude IS sacred. I know you likely find it when you are looking through the lens of your camera, and I always feel it when I look at your inspiring photos and read your words! 🤍🤍

  4. Stacy,

    What a powerful and poignant tribute to your brother. I have no doubt there are men in your life gazing upon you and smiling with pride. You amaze me. Your heart, writing, and life are all inspirations to me. You are a “natural”. I understand your journey, although I haven’t experienced the loss you have.

    I’m so proud of you, my friend. I don’t say it lightly; it’s because of how you have shared your heart, grief, and every part of your journey, the good and ugly, with such compassion, understanding, and beauty.

    Solitude scared me for so long. Loss feels like it “looms” over me–at times waiting for the “other shoe to drop”. Yet, I know, this is not the way to LIVE. I choose to find sacred in the solitude and joy in the juxta positioning of sadness. You are a light and inspiration to me.

    Isn’t it “freeing” when natural takes over? There are no assumptions or standards we have to live up TO? But to just be.

    This stood out to me (how do I choose from all your words that touch every fiber in me!):

    “In this way, a new understanding of myself blossomed within me, carried on the wings of redemption, faith, and the quiet hum of grief. It was a womb-like homecoming – a return to the essence of who I was always meant to be. Like the tulips, daffodils, and hyacinth that pushed through the warmed earth, bold and bright as jewels. In the process, I embraced myself. Judgment and distortions disappeared. A sense of liberation bloomed – a feeling as light and airy as the warm breeze that chased away the last of winter’s chill.”

    Your brother was so handsome, Stacy! I just love his style! 🙂

    And yours.

    Love you, my friend. Even if I don’t “see” you often, you are in my heart and prayers.

  5. Hi Stacy,

    This is a beautiful tribute to your brother – what a handsome beautiful face!

    Congratulations on the weight loss – that is such an achievement! I downloaded Noon, but never followed through with it. I should give it another try.

    Blessings!

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