The wind howled, whipping my hair into a frenzy as I stood on the familiar shoreline of Sherwood Island State Park. It was one of the windiest days of the winter, yet there I was, drawn by an unseen force to this place of memories from my young adulthood, offering me once again a refuge I desperately needed.
Suddenly, tears welled up, hot and heavy. Tears for George, for the loss of a dear friend, for the fleeting nature of youth, and for the profound absence of my son, gone too soon just over four years ago. It were as if my defenses had crumbled, leaving me raw and exposed to the harsh winds of life.
The release of pent-up grief became a cleansing storm, mirroring the fury of the wind around me. And then, nearly an hour later, something shifted. Exhausted, but paradoxically refreshed, I looked around. The wind still raged, but the world seemed sharper, more vibrant and my senses heightened, my heart open to the raw beauty of life.
In that moment, faith wasn’t about words or doctrines. It was about the wind in my hair, the sand beneath my sneakers, the immensity of the ocean stretching out before me. It was about feeling fully alive, without restraints or judgments, simply existing in the present moment.
As I returned to my car, three small, smooth, white stones caught my eye, each one whispering tales of the sea. They were like perfect replacements for the missing ones I’d left at my son’s gravesite – the ones inscribed with our family’s names, now likely swallowed by the earth. Clutching the newfound stones in my palm, I carried them back, already picturing them marked and repurposed. It felt like a symbolic victory, a reclaiming of strength after weathering the storm.
I realized the wind still felt strong, however there was a lightness to it that intensified my sense of victory. I had faced my pain, embraced the rawness of life, and emerged feeling more connected, more alive than ever before. The beach buoyed me up as it always had and reminded me that even in the midst of grief, life persists, an ever-changing evolution, ever-renewing, just like the tide rolling in and out, forever constant, forever powerful.
Remember, your faith may not look like someone else’s, but it doesn’t make it any less valid. Trust your own journey, find solace in the unexpected, and know that you are never truly alone.
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WTF? (Where's the faith?) 
Stacy, I find it a miracle that after being away for four days and preparing to spend some time in nature, I stumbled upon your words. As I write this, tears stream down my face. You possess a unique perspective on life that allows you to see both the pain and beauty in the world, like an eagle’s eyesight. I am in awe of you. Your honesty, humility, and openheartedness make the world a more vivid and breathtaking place. The way you perceive the world is how I perceive you. All of our walks in faith look different indeed. And yours, my friend, is so graceful and beautiful. I’m sorry for the loss you’ve endured. My heart breaks for yours. I celebrate the beauty you find and discover with you. When I go to seek my much-needed spot today, I will carry you with me in my heart. I will talk to our Father on your behalf and smile thinking you’re beside me. Your pictures are amazing, What a beautiful site to experience. Your words captured everything perfectly, Stacy! Your last line speaks to my soul, too. Much love and blessings, dear friend. Karla 💕🙏❤️💛🌊
And, you, Karla … beside me today. 🤍🤍 A life of miracles, a soul connection. 🤍🤍 (tears streaming down MY face!)
Thank you, dear friend. You were with me. A soul connection/sister.💚
the ‘Of-ness (of/in) Having-Being’ is about our innate abilities to stand as mountains do, bodily connected to the earth and the trodden paths therein, with the added certainty of the uncertain created by just Being and being-in-the-world…
Stacy, there’s a couple of things I would like to suggest if it’s OK. Firstly, check out Julie Reshe on Negative Psychoanalysis ~ her handling of the abject within the void is, I find, pretty neat … your Ofservations of which would be welcome not just to me but also the countless others who read your words.
And, secondly, check-in with Tara Brach as she’s offering early bird discounts for entry to her mindfulness training programme ~ it’s a two year university accredited course; I think it’s time …
Be, the boddisattva Stacy!
with much love and as per usual hugs too
Hi Alec, thanks for the insights and resources! I’ll definitely check them out. I appreciate your continued support! A big hug back!
This is a beautiful post. I can’t imagine the grief and pain you are going through but I appreciate you sharing it so openly and beautifully. Nature can provide much healing and I’m glad you found that moment during your time out on the beach. Those three white stones are a nice affirmation for your faith.
Thank you so much for your post today. It brought back to mind a times in my life when I embraced wind and rain as I dealt with a raw painful moment in my life. I always emerged grateful for the storm because it drowned out yells, and hid my tears. Bless you.
Stacystacy
Stacy dear, I can understand your feelings I think of my son Shyam & receive the pain for a few minutes , with salty tears. Then I feel much better and this is my way of manifesting my faith in Him which is more powerful than any rituals . I do not suppress my emotions which would affect my holistic health.I receive joy in the same way .This keeps me in good balance.Looking forward to meeting you in flesh and blood!
Your Indian karmic sister
Hi Indian Karmic Sister, Prema. Yes, balance is so important. Maybe, yes, one day we will meet! 🤍🤍
Hello blogger, I enjoyed reading your post. I subscribed. See you often. Have a happy and bright day.^^*
Great post, and reminder.
Beautifully written, Stacy. I felt like I was in this moment with you – your descriptive writing is always so transporting. Healing moments like this are treasured. I appreciate that you are sharing your experiences and inspiring hope to others suffering with grief and loneliness. Your last line says it all!
Excellent advice, Stacy ❤